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THE SEXY RPG MEME

Greetings, traveler! One night at The Love Hotel will cost 300 gold. Will you rest here?

▸ YES
▸ VERILY YES
▸ ...

In these wild, unpredictable and not altogether chaste lands, there's always cause for a quest. Monsters roam the wilderness, bandits and thugs stalk the roads for easy prey, maidens are almost always going missing from their homes- not to mention the surplus of Evil Overlords threatening global domination. These days it seems as though everyone has an itch to scratch.

Fortunately, there's also a large community of fearless, passionate adventurers willing to make love as well as war and set the world right. Armed with chainmailed cleavage, phallic weaponry and questionable magic, it's your duty to put together a party with exactly the right chemistry and protect the world from unseemly forces. It won't be easy, but there are perks to be had if you know how to look for them and need a little relief from the daily struggle.

After all- what happens on the quest stays on the quest...

Character Name: Self-explanatory.
Character Age: See above.
Role: What kind of character are they going to be? A mage, a barbarian, a healer? You may like to look here for inspiration.
Character Description: A short description of your character.
Yes: What kinks or scenarios are you open to or would you specifically like to play out?
No: What kinks would you rather avoid?

PROMPTS

1) Bunny Ears of Protection
Surely this skimpy little leotard can't be legitimate armor, and for both sexes to boot?! These revealing costumes and accessories can give you one hell of a power-up- assuming, that is, you're willing to endure the embarrassment and the stares you'll get. And who knows what that "cursed" tag means?

2) Random Encounters
Out in the wilds you can run into anything from miniature eldritch monstrosities with more tentacles than you have fingers (the censors somehow missed that one) to humanoid creatures and bandits, but they all have one thing in common: they want you. Think you can handle them?

3) x0 Torches
Well, shit. You're in the obligatory pitch-black dungeon and you're all out of lights. Who knows where your hands could end up if you're not careful?

4) InnTimacy
Why is it that every single inn you've come across only ever has one bed? Oh, well. Maybe you can make the most of it with that cute black mage you've had your eye on since the last town.

5) Overworld
Alternatively, you could camp out under the stars together. It's a lot riskier- you could get caught out by anything from fellow travelers to marauding monsters- but that's part of the fun, right?

6) (Level) Grinding
Some party members just aren't quite up to the mark when they first come around- or maybe you just like to stay on top of the game. Regardless, going at it until you can hardly stand is an excellent way to gain experience quickly.

7) Charmed
"ENEMY" casts "CHARM"! It's super effective! This spell is a favorite among amorous magic-users and causes its target to fall in love (or lust?) with its target for a short while. Some people can overcome it better than others, but you'd better be careful where you aim it- or did you mean to hit your fellow party member?

8) Status Effects
But there's a lot more out there than simple infatuation to worry about. Paralysis? Sleep? Silence (not a problem for most protagonists)? Rage? So many possibilities- and so many ways to twist them to your advantage...

9) Damsels in Distress
A fellow fighter (male or female) has been kidnapped, either by demons or by the big boss, and you've got to rescue them before it's too late! Unholy marriage imagery is almost a given. They may even reward you for your loyalty afterwards.

10) Traumatic Reveal
Are you adopted? A demon? The antichrist? You've reached that point in the plot where almost every conversation holds a twist that could change your world- now would be a very good time for some physical comfort.

11) Final Climax
This is it! The ultimate battle! It's going to take a lot to make this boss submit, but you've got a lot of endurance and experience now, and... oh, you know how this works. Fuck them. Hard.

12) Unusual Re(Quests)
Wait, you want me to do what to you? There are a lot of people in this world looking for a hero or heroine to fulfil their needs- for those looking for quick experience (or something else), satisfying them may be unexpectedly rewarding. And there is that sidequest for fucking as many people as possible to consider, if you're a completionist...

13) Mentorshipping
They're your Obi Wan- your teacher- your sensei. They're also smoking hot. They have one last task for you to complete before you embark on your quest, adventurer: can you live up to their expectations?

14) Power (L)Overdose
Feel that? That's the new level you just reached, and it feels amazing. So amazing that you want to share your increased strength, agility, endurance and flexibility (a new stat) with your teammates. Hope the rush doesn't go to your head.

15) All Is Fair
You thought you could trust them, but your favourite Bard/ Knight/ Thief was working for the opposition the whole time- and now you're on your knees and entirely at their mercy. Is there even the smallest chance they still care about you, after everything you've been through together, or is this one going to hurt?

16) The Mini-Game
Either the worst thing to happen since your game file corrupted or the most addictive thing you've ever played. This land has a penchant for overly complex card games with some seriously dire (depending on your perspective) forfeits: when you lose, you lose an item. Of clothing, that is. But it's all worth it for the prize, right? Especially with such a hot opponent.

17) The Obligatory Stealth Section
There are bad times to be horny, and then there are terrible times to be horny. One of them is when you're in the middle of a prison break-out/ hide-out infiltration operation/ whatever, surrounded by patrolling guards and hiding in the shadows. Maybe if you're both quiet you'll get away with it...

18) The Tournament
That grand prize! It's the Magical Object (tm) that you need to progress! In order to win it you'll have to survive several rounds in an open-air stadium, taking on fighter after fighter... and fucking them to exhaustion, of course. In front of the crowd. Good luck with that.

xx) Wildcard/ Other
Make your own prompt!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Also happily available in monster form!]

Edited 2015-09-25 11:35 (UTC)

[Fact of the matter is, Scarface doesn't tolerate dead weight. Never has, never will. And that means that he's got a problem. A tall, broad young berserker with an impressive quest log and an even more impressive stats sheet, he's not the first person one might expect to see travelling with Yarne, but they've managed to work something out: while Scarface hacks away at the front lines, Yarne's usually quick and light enough on his feet to stay useful.

The operative word being "usually". If he weren't such a rare class- from what Scarface knows, there's not another like him, and that means that he's practically invaluable- he'd have dumped him on his tight, fluffy little ass long ago if there weren't still quests out there that undoubtedly demanded a more animalistic touch than any of his own furs could provide. It's a rough, tough world, and you've gotta stay pragmatic.

Yeah. That's it. It's got nothing at all to do with that cute face of his, so shut up about it already.

By now, they've been travelling together for a few months. Taken down a few bosses, too. There's potential in there, he's sure of it and not just because he's soft on the guy, because he's not. Which is why they've been tackling progressively more and more dangerous dungeons- or rather, he has, with an increasingly anxious Yarne in support.

But he's got a feeling about this one, and it's not long before it's made manifest: in the form of a bright, gleaming treasure chest at the end of the hall.]

Bingo! [The second Scarface spots it he barges ahead of Yarne to claim it, a little more roughly than he really should considering that they're fresh off of a battle. A kick to the lock is all it takes to spring the lid and reveal its contents, which he pulls out with great anticipation-

- only to find that they're a lot, well, smaller than he'd anticipated. Way too small for him.

For a second, Scar's expression plummets like a stone in a well, but just a second. In fact, as he whips around to face his companion there may well be something burning all the more fiercely in those brilliant amber eyes of his, more hawk than man.]

Take a look at this baby! Pretty good loot. [That is a dangerous tone and Yarne probably knows it. He's smiling.] Shame it ain't any good for my class, huh?

[It's also only good for someone a level higher than Yarne is right now... but that's only a temporary problem, really.]

[There are, at times, where nothing in Yarne’s life makes sense. For starters, most people get to pick a class. Yarne was born with a class, and it’s simply “taguel” because that’s what his race is. He sometimes wonders if he has to worry about a Ranger coming over and trying to use “Monster Recruit” against him. Not only that, but the person he’s found himself paired with for the last few months is his complete opposite in every way. He’s brave, strong, large, human, and...kind of a nightmare. When your initial skill is “Flee” and your partner is a Berserker, you know there are going to be some awkward moments.

Despite that, though, Yarne sings Scarface’s praises just as often as not. How could he avoid that? He’s saved Yarne’s life so many times now, and, as the last of his kind (presumably), he feels safe being around someone so powerful. It isn’t uncommon to hear Yarne telling others tales of Scarface’s accomplishment and bravery with a big smile on his face or praising something he’d just done in battle. So things are awkward given Yarne’s desire to get stronger contrasting greatly with his desire to flee, but...they’re getting somewhere.

Unless Scarface has ever come out and said part of the reason he’s around at all is because of Yarne’s unique class, he’s also completely blind to that. All he knows is that he has the most awe-inspiring and terrifying partner all in one muscular package.

Today’s dungeon hasn’t been terrifying, though Yarne has still screamed on more than one occasion. When he finds a treasure chest at the end of a long day, he’s more relieved that it’s over and that he’s survived than he is to see a rare item. He’s disheartened as well upon seeing him so disappointed, not sure how he’ll react, but then Scarface turns around...whoo, boy, he knows he’s in trouble. Time for some damage control.]

It doesn’t really look all that great to me! [He feigns a big smile.] It looks more like a rope trap than armor, right? B-but maybe it will sell for a lot! Who knows? ...Can we go back yet?

[Of course, Yarne has been wearing more armor lately, so something skimpy like that...well, he’d rather see it on Scarface. Or anyone else! Definitely anyone else.]

[ooc; Any thoughts on whether or not the armor should be cursed, or are you already thinking about that?]

[If there's one thing Scarface will give Yarne, it's his tenacity- he's never seen anyone cling so consistently and so doggedly to even the faintest possibility of a non-confrontational finale. But while he can, to some extent, admire his determination he's not about to give in just because his partner's looking a little antsy.

In fact, he's already breaking into a wide smile of his own, one that could almost be called genuine if it weren't so shamelessly foxy.]

Probably. But we worked our asses off getting here, right? It'd be a real waste to just give it away. Anyway... [Hello, when did he get so close? Because suddenly Scar's right up next to Yarne, and that means he can hold the armour up against his body in demonstration.] Have you checked the stats? They're killer: high on speed, low on weight, nice defensive boosts.

[Somehow. Even though it's little more than a series of carefully placed straps. Don't ask him how it works, okay? A pause.] In fact, I'd say they're pretty perfect for you.

[And he will very, very clearly not be disabused of that idea.]

[ooc: I didn't have anything in mind! Got an idea to play with?]

[There is nothing about that smile that makes Yarne feel better except for the fact that he’s been conditioned to find his partner’s face somewhat attractive (that’s what he tells himself to sleep better at night, anyways). It’s dangerous. All of his animal instincts are telling him to run away while he still can, but Scarface is probably the kind of boss battle that prevents fleeing. He would be that, Yarne has no doubts about that.

And while he’s thinking about those other things, he fails to step away in time. He rather likes his last armor upgrade. Chain mail, leggings, a tunic...he feels kind of like a hero! How could he ever walk around wearing something like that in public?]

If they’re that killer, maybe we can get it customized in town to fit you! Please? You haven’t forgotten that I’m a rabbit, right? We don’t like to feel like we’re wearing traps!

[Or, well, he doesn’t. Last of his kind and all. He doesn’t pull away from Scarface because he knows he’s going to insist on doing this. It’s easier to just wait it out, and he likes being this close to him anyways. Because it’s safer being next to him. Right.]

Perfect how? My level isn’t high enough, and it comes with the “drop dead of shame” effect if you ever make me walk around town in it! But the important part is about the level! It’s too bad, huh?

[Against his best efforts, he’s red in the face just thinking about it. Everything would be exposed...there’s no one who wants to see that except a sadist who wishes he had a better traveling partner. Maybe he should level up. What if Scarface just gets tired of him and leaves? He’s adventuring to get stronger, and he feels so strong when he’s with the berserker, stronger than he used to be.]

[ooc; I'll think on it. Also, if you want me to change this so Yarne isn't crushing on him/they're already "partners," I can! But otherwise, think I'll go with him (somehow) not being a virgin, just not having slept with Scarface before.]

[Oh, customisation would certainly be an option for anyone else, but if Yarne really thinks he can misdirect Scarface's attention with that lousy play he really doesn't know him that well. Or maybe he's just clinging to whatever excuses he can dredge up under pressure? Over the course of their very short and one-sided discussion he's been turning a gradually brighter shade of red, like a ripening peach; it's a wonder he hasn't turned tail and bolted into the relative safety of the (dark, labrynthine, monster-infected) dungeon.

Regardless, he's already got a few answers lined up on the tip of his tongue. It's just a matter of firing them off with relentless force, one after the other.]

One: it's not a trap. It's rare armour and you should show some goddamn gratitude for it. You think I wouldn't use it in a heartbeat? [He punctuates his point with a fierce clench of his fist, swung irritably through the air. Actually Scar's nowhere near as angry as he looks or sounds, but if anyone's sensitive to being browbeaten it's Yarne. Hell, if it weren't so crazy, he'd almost say the guy likes it.

A pause, seemingly to catch his breath. But what he's doing is moving into the next phase- a breakneck u-turn that has him suddenly placing his free hand on Yarne's shoulder, fingers splayed and settled too close to his neck to be entirely platonic.

He smiles.] Two... you're only one level out. You picked up a lot of experience on the way here, ri-ght? You're probably right on the edge...

[And it’s about there that Yarne finally realizes there’s no getting out of this. He shivers once, his entire body ridding itself of some tension as he resigns himself to his fate with a heavy sigh, a sigh that’s way too loud like usual. Maybe that will be easier. If he just gives in and agrees to all of the terms, they’ll get out sooner. And maybe this time they can keep his old armor so he can change clothes before going into town. The last time Yarne had found new armor in a dungeon, he’d been told to leave his old armor behind so his speed stat wouldn’t suffer, and the curse on the new armor made his life hell all the way back to town.]

It doesn’t have to be a trap! I’m just saying it looks like one! [Yarne is so exasperated even though he’s clearly about to give in. He doesn’t think Scarface would wear it in a heartbeat, no, though he’d definitely fill out something like that nicely. Yarne doesn’t have to have a crush on his partner to realize that fact.

He practically jumps at the hand on his shoulder, flinching (sorry, Scarface, it’s not you, it’s how he always reacts) before realizing that there’s a hand really close to his neck. He can’t say the words fast enough.] I’ll wear it, okay?! If it’ll make you happy, I’ll do it, just...no throwing away the old armor when we’re done, alright? Please? Not like last time?

[Maybe begging will help. Yeah, that should work. He’s resigning himself to more fighting now, though he still feels uneasy about something. Maybe it’s his animalistic instincts or maybe it’s that Scarface is terrifying, but he doesn’t feel like that’s all there is to it.]

Let’s just go and find some monsters already. The sooner we fight, the sooner we can get out. ...Right?

[Okay, so maybe Scar's being a little economical with the truth about the whole wearing it himself thing, fantastic though it would undoubtedly look on him. It's designed to accentuate, as well as its wearer's ass and thighs, agility, and he's more of a tank than a speed build. Not that a few little white lies are really going to get in his way, because even before Yarne all but hits the ceiling at his touch it's become clear that he's going to crack.

And he does. Brilliantly.

It's as though a light-bulb's been switched on behind Scarface's eyes. The second Yarne submits his lips curl into a different smile- one that's still a little dangerous, yes, but also endlessly charming, as if he's offering a reward for Yarne's obedience.]

No one's throwing anything out this time- if we do anything with that armour, we're selling it. Who knows. You might actually want to keep it, huh? [Particularly when he finds out their next step.

Hint: it doesn't involve monsters.

Scarface doesn't remove his hand. In fact, he stretches out his index and middle finger and begins to walk them up the taguel's neck.] I can think of a better way to do this. A safer way. You don't like fighting, anyway, right? [He meets Yarne's eyes.]

[The “other” way to level up. It’s not something Yarne has ever tried, despite having been barely lucky enough to get laid before, but he knows exactly what Scarface is talking about. Combining that with a little light neck touching is a brutal attack against Yarne, one that would have forced him to flee if it were a battle. But it’s not a battle. Oh, his heart is racing for sure, but it’s for an entirely different reason.

He’s kind of sort of really wanted this for a long time. Why wouldn’t he? Scarface, aside from being terrifying, is strong and brave and wonderful. Yarne gulps, shifting his stance just a little as the familiar sensation of growing hard begins. He’s that easy.

Gods, why is his smile so handsome?]

I’m not gonna wanna keep it for long. [He still persists that, weakly trying to still have SOME sort of upper hand so it doesn’t look like he’s going to just roll over and let leveling up happen all over him.] But...I’d be fine with that way! But if we did it that way, we’d...probably have to do it again from time to time...like training...r-right?!

[His voice sort of trails off. He’s mostly staying still, but he’s also kind of asking Scarface out. Or at least to do it more than once. Which, with Yarne, is the same thing.

Oops.

He will reach up and touch the wrist that's touching his neck, tentatively rubbing it.]